If you haven't read Scott's latest blog about the letters of support for New Line, go check it out and then come back to this.
I was talking with a friend recently about what I've been doing the past few years and about the current show I'm working on with New Line. He seemed really intrigued and said how he'd like to work at a place like that. Somewhere where the integrity of the art is really the most important element, not the glitz and glamour. A place where storytelling is more important than a huge budget. I had to agree, that is pretty nice. Unfortunately for him, he can't because he's equity...
The problem is, places like New Line are few and far between. Because they do things that most other companies won't touch, they don't always get as much funding as other places, and therefore can't pay as much. As I've said in previous posts though, we don't do New Line for the money, we do it for the art. Before I started doing shows with Scott, I was considered by most people (including myself) as only a dancer. I'm a 5'7 brunette who can kick high, and that unfortunately makes me replaceable. I thought of myself as a chorus girl, and there are a lot of other girls out there who look just like me who can do what I do. And I got pretty sick of that notion. I was just so sick and tired of being pigeonholed into this one type. I knew that there was way more to me than just smiling and dancing in the back, but no one would take me seriously and for some reason I couldn't get anyone who had any power or position to notice me.
Things really changed for me once I started at New Line again though. I was actually being challenged as an actor, and I loved it. It was terrifying at first, because I felt like I had no clue what I was doing. But it was also new and fresh and exciting, and I felt like I was actually growing as an artist for the first time in a long time. I finally felt like people understood me and really saw what I was capable of. People will say that they feel like a family, but that's really how it is at New Line. I feel like people actually get me. Scott, as well as my fellow actors, pushed me to places that I had never been before and it was really liberating. Also, I had never worked anywhere where reviews took notice of me (because they don't usually mention the tall one 2nd from the end) and I was terrified about actually being critiqued for the first time. I know people say not to take them too personally, but I felt like I was up to bat and I could either hit my first home run, or strike out. Three years later, I guess I'm doing just fine.
Now that I've had a taste of the kinds of characters I can play and what I'm capable of, I don't really want to go back to doing what I used to do. I don't want to be a chorus girl anymore (not that there's anything wrong with that at all) it's just that I sort of live for a challenge now. I also feel like this is the place where I can explore and make mistakes as an actor and I'm not being judged.
I always talk to my students about being fearless and taking risks, even at the risk of "looking stupid." Sometimes it's hard for me to take my own advice though. Lately in rehearsal I've been asking myself "what the hell am I supposed to be doing at this moment?" And of course, whenever I can't figure that out or I'm too chicken shit to just try something on my own, Scott is always there with advice and suggestions and a push in the right direction. It's also nice because he will never tell me what to do or how exactly to deliver dialogue, just the logical reasoning behind why my character is doing or saying what she is.
Moving right along...
I'm sad to say we've lost Joel due to injury, and we'll miss him!
I really like this cast. As I said before, I feel like these people actually get me and I don't have to fight to feel like I belong. We have a lot of fun. I'm creating, and they're all creating, and it's a great process. Sometimes though, I still feel intimidated by all of the talent in the room....there is seriously a lot.
This coming week we finish blocking the show! Maybe by then I will have my shit together...but I'm not making any promises.
Until next time...
Trailer
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