We open in less than two weeks, and I feel like I'm finding my groove finally. Maybe a little slower than I had hoped, but it's getting there. Scott seems pretty happy with where the show is, so maybe I should just trust that.
I'm reading Eva's biography, and I'm almost all the way through. It's a fast read, and really insightful. Much of the material about her early life really made me feel for her. I can't imagine what it would have been like to have been a woman at that time in Argentina. As we've been discussing in rehearsals, Argentina was, at that time, (and sort of still is) extremely sexist and male dominated. Women in positions of power today still have a tough time now and then, but it's nothing like it was then. That's probably why there was such extreme hatred and opposition towards her. People may not agree with everything Hilary Clinton has to say, but I would guess most people on the whole have some respect for her. It wasn't that way for Eva.
As a child, she was described as a beautiful girl, but pale and fragile, with enormous eyes. She was born out of wedlock to an established man (Duarte) who already had a wife and family somewhere else. Because of this, the family was not welcome at his funeral. Eva's father died when she was only 6, and after much arguing between the families, Eva and her siblings were finally allowed to go in and pay their respects. At the funeral march though, they had to walk behind his other with the rest of the public. They were entitled to nothing. Eva's mother kept the last name Duarte for the children, but had anyone of importance found out about that, there would have been some serious consequences.
Let's review: A man leaves his wife and family, has an affair, has several more children, leaves them, then dies, and now the 2nd family is scorned and hated and gets nothing. Hmmm....it's a man's world indeed. I suppose if I had been Eva, I would have been pretty bitter and angry too...
The biography states that although she was poor, she was generally a happy child. The more she was stepped on though, it seemed to harden her. As she was working her way up the ladder in the theater world, it was almost like a "one step foward, two steps back" kind of scenario. Reading about all of these episodes is really helping me to create a more 3-dimensional character. I feel like I understand her more and more. As I said in previous blogs, many women play Eva as just a manipulative power hungry bitch. But she wasn't, and I don't want to play her that way.
Although I still struggle, I'm really having a blast working on this show. It's exhausting both mentally and physically, but I'm loving it. The ensemble is super strong and I love listening to them sing. Sometimes listening to the group numbers really gets me pumped and puts me in just the right mindset. Todd and John are both awesome to perform with, and I feel like the three of us are all connecting on the same levels. I feel very safe with both of them. If I make a new choice or play a moment differently as I'm exploring the material, I know that they'll both let me do my thing and go along for the ride. It's nice working with actors you can trust. I feel like the three of us are all on the same path right now. I know that when I screw something up, I tend to be kind of hard on myself. I think they are the same way. We expect so much out of ourselves, which can be good and bad. I'll usually mutter some obscenity and shake my head and mentally kick myself for making what I would consider a stupid mistake. They are the same way. But they aren't stupid mistakes. There's a lot going on, and sometimes the focus is so strong in one area that something slips in another. This phase in the process will pass though, as it always does. We'll only get stronger from here. Until next time folks!
p.s. I think everyone should go read this...http://www.newlinetheatre.com/evitachapter.html
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
I just got home a few minutes ago, and it's definitely 95 degrees in my apartment right now. Something is wrong with the air, because the more I turn it down, the hotter it gets. I was going to start cleaning, but screw that, it's too hot in here. I guess I'll blog instead, because that requires less movement.
Since this blog is supposed to be about myself and the process, I thought I'd take some time to touch on my bad habits and fears about the show and theater in general.
I've always thought of myself as a dancer over anything else, probably because I started dancing first. Dancing was followed by piano, then voice, and acting came last. I was never super confident about my singing abilities until I got a little older, but even today I second guess myself quite a bit in terms of vocals. I also used to think that acting was my weakest point, just because I studied that the least out of the artistic things that I do. I've had great acting training, don't get me wrong, I just tend to be "in my head" a lot. I think too much instead of just being in the moment. I've always found acting in songs was much easier for me than in scene work, and fortunately for me, Evita is all singing!
We move into the theater on Monday, and as Scott says, now the really fun artistic stuff can begin. Getting into the theater always changes my attitude about the material. I know that there is still a lot of work to do and that the closer we get, the more of those little details will be plugged in. Plus, the more we run it, the less I can focus on words or lyrics or steps and start focusing more on the emotion and the actions. As they say, acting is about action and reaction. I need to stop anticipating. I need to get out of my head. I need to stop thinking "what should I do with my hand here?" or "how should I stand?" and just be in the moment and let it happen. All easier said than done. Nothing makes me feel more uncomfortable or awkward as an audience member than watching an actor look uncomfortable and awkward. So, I need to work on that...
Okay, it is seriously hot in here. WTF.
Scott and I were talking about one particular moment of the show, and I asked what he wanted from me there. Instead of just telling me how he wanted that moment, he told me something that John Cleese once said, which I found very helpful. It was something along the lines of "It's much funnier watching someone trying not to laugh than watching someone trying to be funny, and it's much sadder watching someone trying not to cry than trying to be sad." Something like that, but it makes complete sense.
We've also been talking about all of the "roles" that Eva played. In the beginning, she's only 15. Now, at 15, she was already a girl who knew exactly what she wanted and she went for it. However, at the end of the show, she's in her 30s. Obviously, I would not play both of those roles the same way. Just from watching clips on Youtube, I've often seen Eva played just, angry, and that doesn't work. Again, as they teach in acting school, you can't "play" an emotion. For me, it's about finding all of the ups and downs for each of her various roles, and finding that arch.
I feel like I have more to discuss, but it's still 95 degrees in here, so it's either time for an ice bath, or time to get out of the apartment. Until next time!
Taylor
Since this blog is supposed to be about myself and the process, I thought I'd take some time to touch on my bad habits and fears about the show and theater in general.
I've always thought of myself as a dancer over anything else, probably because I started dancing first. Dancing was followed by piano, then voice, and acting came last. I was never super confident about my singing abilities until I got a little older, but even today I second guess myself quite a bit in terms of vocals. I also used to think that acting was my weakest point, just because I studied that the least out of the artistic things that I do. I've had great acting training, don't get me wrong, I just tend to be "in my head" a lot. I think too much instead of just being in the moment. I've always found acting in songs was much easier for me than in scene work, and fortunately for me, Evita is all singing!
We move into the theater on Monday, and as Scott says, now the really fun artistic stuff can begin. Getting into the theater always changes my attitude about the material. I know that there is still a lot of work to do and that the closer we get, the more of those little details will be plugged in. Plus, the more we run it, the less I can focus on words or lyrics or steps and start focusing more on the emotion and the actions. As they say, acting is about action and reaction. I need to stop anticipating. I need to get out of my head. I need to stop thinking "what should I do with my hand here?" or "how should I stand?" and just be in the moment and let it happen. All easier said than done. Nothing makes me feel more uncomfortable or awkward as an audience member than watching an actor look uncomfortable and awkward. So, I need to work on that...
Okay, it is seriously hot in here. WTF.
Scott and I were talking about one particular moment of the show, and I asked what he wanted from me there. Instead of just telling me how he wanted that moment, he told me something that John Cleese once said, which I found very helpful. It was something along the lines of "It's much funnier watching someone trying not to laugh than watching someone trying to be funny, and it's much sadder watching someone trying not to cry than trying to be sad." Something like that, but it makes complete sense.
We've also been talking about all of the "roles" that Eva played. In the beginning, she's only 15. Now, at 15, she was already a girl who knew exactly what she wanted and she went for it. However, at the end of the show, she's in her 30s. Obviously, I would not play both of those roles the same way. Just from watching clips on Youtube, I've often seen Eva played just, angry, and that doesn't work. Again, as they teach in acting school, you can't "play" an emotion. For me, it's about finding all of the ups and downs for each of her various roles, and finding that arch.
I feel like I have more to discuss, but it's still 95 degrees in here, so it's either time for an ice bath, or time to get out of the apartment. Until next time!
Taylor
Friday, June 11, 2010
Who is Eva?
I'm not really sure where to start with this one...
First thing that comes to mind is the choreography. Robin's choreography is amazing. I'm not just saying that because she is my mentor and boss and one of my best friends. Robin really gets it. I mean, she understands how the dance in a musical has to blend with the show itself. As a fellow choreographer myself, I've always hated how some people throw in flashy steps and difficult moves just for the point of showing off. That never made any sense to me. Sometimes I even see dance steps performed by people who don't yet have the skill level to pull off those steps. Why? Why do that to the dancers? Why make them struggle to perform steps they can't handle? Choreography is not about the hardest steps and the best tricks. It is about finding the theme and elements that are important to the show and incorporating those elements into the dancing. It's also about making the dancers look good. It's about knowing the abilities of the dancers and using those abilities wisely. That's why I admire Robin so much. She would never send her dancers out on stage with material that the group couldn't handle or didn't fit the material of the show. She takes the time to understand the story, the time period, and what is important at that moment of the show, and I appreciate that.
Moving on...
We ran act I essentially four times, and I feel more and more confidant with each run. I am really impressed with out cast. Sometimes I get so caught up listening to the music everyone else is making that I forget what I'm supposed to be doing. I feel like the fast I get off book the faster I can start to explore more important elements...
Like the rest of the cast, I've been doing a lot of research. I'm reading books, watching documentaries, and getting emails from Scott with new thoughts and ideas about Eva almost on a daily basis. I'm really enjoying exploring her character, but that's also where I'm having the most trouble. It's difficult to discuss my thoughts about Eva without giving away too much, but I'll try...
Most people really don't know that much about Eva Peron. I didn't either, before this production. Some people say that Patti LuPone made her out to be a monster, while others say that Madonna tried to make her too likable and human. I say, she falls somewhere in between. First of all, she couldn't have been a complete bitch or she wouldn't have had the following that she did. I mean, the working class of Argentina likened her to a saint. The people loved her, they worshiped her. If she was so horrible, why would they have loved her so much? On the other hand, she did step on a lot of people to get to the top. I think she was an incredibly confidant woman. She was a woman who knew what she wanted and did whatever she had to do to get it. Was her heart in the right place for the most part? Yes. Did she always go about getting her way in a fair and ethical manner? Probably not...
From what I've read and talked about with Scott, Eva was only 26 when Peron became president. She held an office in the ministry of labor and had an incredible amount of power. She really did love the working class of Argentina, because she was one of them. She came from poverty. She came from nothing and rose to the top, but her heart was always with her people. I'm 25, and I can't imagine having that kind of power right now in my life. Hell, I don't even know where my keys are right now, what in the world would I do with that sort of status? Eva wanted the people to know that she was still one of them. It was very important to her that the people know she had not sold out and left them. This was pretty much the first time that the working class of Argentina were even acknowledged with regards to political leaders, and Eva is the one who made that happen.
Through her charity, Eva really did a whole lot of good. She worked up to 16 hours days, giving help to the poor. People would come in with all sorts of different money troubles, and Eva would just hand them money or the means to fix their problems, and the people loved her. The other political leaders and aristocrats....not so much....
We've been discussing how Eva played many different roles throughout her life. Playing her simply as an ambitious, power hungry diva would just be too easy. Plus, that's been done. I think for me, finding each of those roles and finding balance for Eva is going to be my challenge. I have a lot of great material to work with though, so I think I can make it happen.
I've also never had so much fun singing before. Before this I've always done more "standard" musical theater. Love Kills was the first time I got to really let loose and just wail, and I loved every minute of it. I feel like this whole rock musical thing really suits me. If only there were some more rock musicals coming up....
I hope my ramblings make a little it of sense....until next time.
Taylor
First thing that comes to mind is the choreography. Robin's choreography is amazing. I'm not just saying that because she is my mentor and boss and one of my best friends. Robin really gets it. I mean, she understands how the dance in a musical has to blend with the show itself. As a fellow choreographer myself, I've always hated how some people throw in flashy steps and difficult moves just for the point of showing off. That never made any sense to me. Sometimes I even see dance steps performed by people who don't yet have the skill level to pull off those steps. Why? Why do that to the dancers? Why make them struggle to perform steps they can't handle? Choreography is not about the hardest steps and the best tricks. It is about finding the theme and elements that are important to the show and incorporating those elements into the dancing. It's also about making the dancers look good. It's about knowing the abilities of the dancers and using those abilities wisely. That's why I admire Robin so much. She would never send her dancers out on stage with material that the group couldn't handle or didn't fit the material of the show. She takes the time to understand the story, the time period, and what is important at that moment of the show, and I appreciate that.
Moving on...
We ran act I essentially four times, and I feel more and more confidant with each run. I am really impressed with out cast. Sometimes I get so caught up listening to the music everyone else is making that I forget what I'm supposed to be doing. I feel like the fast I get off book the faster I can start to explore more important elements...
Like the rest of the cast, I've been doing a lot of research. I'm reading books, watching documentaries, and getting emails from Scott with new thoughts and ideas about Eva almost on a daily basis. I'm really enjoying exploring her character, but that's also where I'm having the most trouble. It's difficult to discuss my thoughts about Eva without giving away too much, but I'll try...
Most people really don't know that much about Eva Peron. I didn't either, before this production. Some people say that Patti LuPone made her out to be a monster, while others say that Madonna tried to make her too likable and human. I say, she falls somewhere in between. First of all, she couldn't have been a complete bitch or she wouldn't have had the following that she did. I mean, the working class of Argentina likened her to a saint. The people loved her, they worshiped her. If she was so horrible, why would they have loved her so much? On the other hand, she did step on a lot of people to get to the top. I think she was an incredibly confidant woman. She was a woman who knew what she wanted and did whatever she had to do to get it. Was her heart in the right place for the most part? Yes. Did she always go about getting her way in a fair and ethical manner? Probably not...
From what I've read and talked about with Scott, Eva was only 26 when Peron became president. She held an office in the ministry of labor and had an incredible amount of power. She really did love the working class of Argentina, because she was one of them. She came from poverty. She came from nothing and rose to the top, but her heart was always with her people. I'm 25, and I can't imagine having that kind of power right now in my life. Hell, I don't even know where my keys are right now, what in the world would I do with that sort of status? Eva wanted the people to know that she was still one of them. It was very important to her that the people know she had not sold out and left them. This was pretty much the first time that the working class of Argentina were even acknowledged with regards to political leaders, and Eva is the one who made that happen.
Through her charity, Eva really did a whole lot of good. She worked up to 16 hours days, giving help to the poor. People would come in with all sorts of different money troubles, and Eva would just hand them money or the means to fix their problems, and the people loved her. The other political leaders and aristocrats....not so much....
We've been discussing how Eva played many different roles throughout her life. Playing her simply as an ambitious, power hungry diva would just be too easy. Plus, that's been done. I think for me, finding each of those roles and finding balance for Eva is going to be my challenge. I have a lot of great material to work with though, so I think I can make it happen.
I've also never had so much fun singing before. Before this I've always done more "standard" musical theater. Love Kills was the first time I got to really let loose and just wail, and I loved every minute of it. I feel like this whole rock musical thing really suits me. If only there were some more rock musicals coming up....
I hope my ramblings make a little it of sense....until next time.
Taylor
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