I just got home a few minutes ago, and it's definitely 95 degrees in my apartment right now. Something is wrong with the air, because the more I turn it down, the hotter it gets. I was going to start cleaning, but screw that, it's too hot in here. I guess I'll blog instead, because that requires less movement.

Since this blog is supposed to be about myself and the process, I thought I'd take some time to touch on my bad habits and fears about the show and theater in general.

I've always thought of myself as a dancer over anything else, probably because I started dancing first. Dancing was followed by piano, then voice, and acting came last. I was never super confident about my singing abilities until I got a little older, but even today I second guess myself quite a bit in terms of vocals. I also used to think that acting was my weakest point, just because I studied that the least out of the artistic things that I do. I've had great acting training, don't get me wrong, I just tend to be "in my head" a lot. I think too much instead of just being in the moment. I've always found acting in songs was much easier for me than in scene work, and fortunately for me, Evita is all singing!

We move into the theater on Monday, and as Scott says, now the really fun artistic stuff can begin. Getting into the theater always changes my attitude about the material. I know that there is still a lot of work to do and that the closer we get, the more of those little details will be plugged in. Plus, the more we run it, the less I can focus on words or lyrics or steps and start focusing more on the emotion and the actions. As they say, acting is about action and reaction. I need to stop anticipating. I need to get out of my head. I need to stop thinking "what should I do with my hand here?" or "how should I stand?" and just be in the moment and let it happen. All easier said than done. Nothing makes me feel more uncomfortable or awkward as an audience member than watching an actor look uncomfortable and awkward. So, I need to work on that...

Okay, it is seriously hot in here. WTF.

Scott and I were talking about one particular moment of the show, and I asked what he wanted from me there. Instead of just telling me how he wanted that moment, he told me something that John Cleese once said, which I found very helpful. It was something along the lines of "It's much funnier watching someone trying not to laugh than watching someone trying to be funny, and it's much sadder watching someone trying not to cry than trying to be sad." Something like that, but it makes complete sense.

We've also been talking about all of the "roles" that Eva played. In the beginning, she's only 15. Now, at 15, she was already a girl who knew exactly what she wanted and she went for it. However, at the end of the show, she's in her 30s. Obviously, I would not play both of those roles the same way. Just from watching clips on Youtube, I've often seen Eva played just, angry, and that doesn't work. Again, as they teach in acting school, you can't "play" an emotion. For me, it's about finding all of the ups and downs for each of her various roles, and finding that arch.

I feel like I have more to discuss, but it's still 95 degrees in here, so it's either time for an ice bath, or time to get out of the apartment. Until next time!

Taylor